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A Ballard to the Hims From the Hers

Greetings Readers & Friends,


A bit of time has passed since my last post. Since that time I've been working through life as we all do. Thinking about the thinking that I need to do in order to be at peace with my decisions; to be at peace with ME. It's a daily struggle, but it's an activity that I'm growing to accept as a process of life and not to fight it or ignore it. You see, when you are in a space of inter/self-battle it's important to seek consensus within yourself; to come to a compromise or an agreement with your critical elements; your soul and your spirit. Thus, I can tell that by sharing that nugget with you all I am learning; learning to accept, learning to love who I am and how I am. However, within that battle emerges the reality of understanding of YOU and the lack thereof when it comes to interaction with the opposite sex.

On a sunny Wednesday afternoon while at home conducting some work for an online course that I teach, a spoken word Ballard emerged from the speaker of my all black portable Bose Bluetooth player. The Ballard contained the purest form of verbal imagery that I have ever heard with my ears and seen with my mind. It was musical artist Kehlani’s intro to her Sweet Sexy Savage album. The authentic piece that she recited affirmed her affirmation of her acceptance of who she is with all her strengthens and faults with remorse for those who didn’t see her light; the understanding of her.

What I found of importance was her ability to pinpoint and accept her challenge with the opposite sex; something many of us won’t admit, let alone take the time to figure out. Clash in understanding of a person is a real thing. However, we tend to sweep it under the rug of “it’s normal for people to argue and disagree,” or “we all are different.” Although these thoughts can be held as truth by some, have we ever thought to question our brain’s conditioned desire to make that circle fit into that square regardless of what we know to be real....what we know to be true? Why do we think it’s ok to ignore the apparent disunion and put our heads down and suffer in subconscious silence; a silence that loudly eats at your inner core (i.e., your peace and happiness). Yes, collaborative understanding is real.

Relationships and/or experiences where two people truly do understand each other really do exist. But not many people are willing to wait for that. Not many people are willing to accept that reality in order to wait for that. And not many people feel that they are worth the risk of thought and patience for themselves. And let me not omit the fact that love does indeed exist within spaces, experiences, and relationships where seamless understanding isn’t present. However, there are many levels to love. And the level that you experience is truly up to you; what you are willing to sacrifice, compromise on, or accept. I want to make it known that this concept can be blanketed over to friendships and relationships with women and men,women and women, and men and men, but in keeping in line with the blog post title, I will stick to the Hims and the Hers.

As with most of my posts, this is a thought of insight for you to chew on, for you to ponder, for you to debate amongst yourself. Below is Kehlani’s Ballard that affirmed my thoughts about the thought that it’s ok to feel and believe that you are misunderstood; that he doesn’t understand you. The question that I pose to you is, are you willing to wait for the one that does?

Kehlani “Intro”


My condolences to anyone who has ever lost me, and to anyone who got lost in me or to anyone who ever felt they took a loss with me, my apologies for the misunderstanding or the lack thereof.

I'm sorry you missed the God in me and I'm sorry you missed the light, I'm sorry you forgot the way I arose like the moon night after night with the burden to forgive, eager to feed you everything

See, I'm a holy woman

I know what it’s like to give birth to a being without ever needing to press skin against one another, I've practiced how to hold my tongue long enough, I'm afraid I forgot to say goodbye. I'm afraid you're under the impression that I was made to please you. I was under the impression you understood me better

The truth is, I'm a superwoman And some days I'm an angry woman And some days I'm a crazy woman For still waiting, for still loving harder even if I'm aching For still trusting that I'm still worth the most For still searching for someone to understand me better

#understandingthepersonexceedslove #waitforyourworth #thinkaboutit #selflove #selfcare

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